Yearbook Blog 1

I was raised by a Christian family that has always been very involved in Church, so Jesus has always been an integral part of my life. I officially accepted Christ in to my heart when I was 5 years old. As I grew up being a Christian was just a part of who I was. It was easy to think of yourself as a strong Christian as long as your faith was never challenged. I went to a small Christian school for the first few years of elementary school and then was homeschooled for 5 years. I went back to school my 8th grade and soon found that I was not as dedicated as I originally believed. My sophomore year I started dating this guy who had very low self esteem. He didn’t like who he was and would bring other people down to make himself feel better. Because I was around him the most often I became his primary target and before long I became depressed. I had stopped talking to God because I felt like I did not deserve His love. I also felt like I was trapped in this relationship because no one else would want me. Lucky for me, my friend Tim took the time to show me that nobody deserved to be treated that way and I was finally able to end that relationship after over a year and a half. Although I was finally free of my ex’s negativity I still had low self esteem. Instead of turning to God I continued to seek fulfillment in other people. I started dating another boy my senior year and at first I was happy to know that someone cared and I felt good about myself but eventually those feelings faded and I started to becoming depressed again. I pushed away the people that actually cared enough to try and help me and then wondered why I felt so alone. Finally back in August, he decided we needed to break up because he was going to school in Arizona. While we were arguing about it he told me that I could not expect him to “fix” me, no person could fix me. It sounds really harsh but it was this that made me realize that I was looking for help and affirmation in all the wrong places. I finally turned to the one person that could really “fix” me. Since August I have put Christ at the center of my life. With his help I have stopped looking for the approval of other people to make me happy because I finally have my priorities straight.